Moving to a new city…
A couple years ago, living in my ultimate comfort zone became my worst enemy. I was happy, but started feeling complacent and not sure about what the hell I wanted to do with my life. I was in my mid-twenties with no mortgage, no husband, no kids…no “real” commitments or obligations whatsoever. I was going through the motions, hanging out at the same bars every Friday and Saturday, working way too many hours every January through March, overall experiencing the same things but different day/month/year. I’m not saying that I had a bad life at all, and I really enjoyed every part of it, but I had nothing holding me back and I had the thirst for something different. So to shake things up a bit, I decided to take myself outside of my comfort zone and move to across the country. The experience so far has been everything I imagined it would be (and more) – ranging from exciting to absolutely terrifying. Within the last 365 or so days since moving, I’ve definitely had my shares of ups and downs – from countless new and fun experiences to moments where I’ve questioned why I even moved here in the first place. I knew it was going to be difficult, but ultimately, rewarding.
So this is why I advocate moving to a new city and to do it while you’re young, disconnected, and able to do so. Here’s what I’ve realized.
- A change in scenery forces you experience new things (duh) – You’re in a new place and there is no such thing as “your routine” anymore. The new experiences could open up your eyes to things you never knew existed and teach you things about yourself you never knew before. It helps you expand your personal, cultural, and social palate.
- You learn how to depend on yourself – Whether that means you’re bored on a Friday night, got lost and your phone died, or you’re sick in bed with no one to bring you soup, you have to figure out how to survive on your own and do shit yourself.
- Budgeting becomes a reality – “You do realize LA is really expensive, right?” I think everyone asked me that before I moved, and OF COURSE I was shocked and appalled every time because I had no clue (haha)! Well, it’s safe to say everyone was right, and living in LA is no joke. I quickly realized that my lifestyle needed to be monitored a little bit more (Orlando is so cheap!), and it made me grow up, understand the value of a dollar, and start budgeting like an adult.
- You have to face your insecurities – Hate meeting new people because you’re awkward or shy? Hate being the new girl? Well, too bad. You have to let those go and really put yourself out there, otherwise, you’ll just be a miserable person sitting at home playing with your three cats.
- You have to trust your instincts and listen to your gut– you’re a newbie, and it’s a clean slate when meeting new people. You can’t necessarily rely on friends of friends, or old schoolmates to expand your social and romantic network anymore. But how exciting is that? Talk to people who you have never talked to before, and actually listen. You’re in the perfect position to meet countless new people and you never know who may walk into your life. On the flip side of that, you have to really trust your gut when stepping into a new situation. There’s a lot of weirdos out there!
- There’s total freedom to rediscover yourself and make yourself a priority – you have less commitments from friends and family, so there’s more time to focus on yourself and the things you want to accomplish. So take advantage of that time – spend more time putting pen to paper with some old and new goals, and more time reflecting on where you are and where you’re going. Does that sound selfish? Absolutely, but you’re only young once and can do that before you’re entered into multiple commitments, so spend that time wisely.
- You’re in full control of your happiness – You have yourself to rely upon for things to happen. You’re not going to make friends or find the perfect soul mate by sitting around, or can rely on good ole networking to get that better job. It’s not going to be as easy as it was with an established network.
- You haven’t lost your friends by moving away – true friendship stands the test of distance and time. It’s just going to take more effort to stay in touch and be a big part of each other’s lives- but if they mean anything to you, it’ll be worth every text, phone call, visit, etc.
- But…you’ve lost your immediate support system – even though old friends are a phone call away, you need to make a new circle of friends to lean on. Not having that your best friends immediately around when you’re having a crappy day is definitely going to teach you to be mentally strong and tough it out either alone or with your new friends.
- You WILL find yourself asking “I’ve made some stupid decisions before- could this be one of them?” Some of my best friends still live back in Orlando (including my boyfriend), and some have moved themselves. I used to see my parents (who still live in Florida) once a month, and now I talk to them a couple times a week. With 2500 miles and three time zones between me and the people I love dearly…there’s been several occasions where I’ve sat in the middle of my apartment, looking around, realizing that I really do live this far away from “home”, and asked myself, “Why did I leave? What the f*ck am I doing here?” I’ve come to realize when people matter, they are a part of your life no matter what. If they love you, they understand you haven’t left them, but are simply pursuing other opportunities in your life. There are a number of reasons I wake up to every morning that solidify my decision to be here.
- Ultimately, living in your comfort zone can be damaging- Being challenged and made uncomfortable only makes you a stronger person. My life right now is all about finding out what makes me truly happy and investing in a ‘rich’ life filled with experiences, travels, and family/friends. And always seeking more. I want to look back on life and know that I did everything I wanted to do, and on top of that, a bunch more. I am not saying live out of your financial means or live a crazy, volatile lifestyle, but I think we’re so accustomed to routine. We live within this bubble of comfort because it’s familiar, it’s safe, it’s easy. I relate that to being sedentary – it’s not healthy and can be damaging to your health.
So in retrospect, with a year under my belt, I can happily and truthfully say that the decision to move was the right one. There’s still a number of moments where I question that, but I’m in a better place overall. It was tough, and there were a lot of tears from missing the familiar, from missing friends and family. But there were also a lot of great and meaningful visits back and forth this past year.
Leaving a job that I enjoyed and people I enjoyed working with wasn’t easy. But I’m getting a lot of out my career here, working on great projects and learning a ton every day. And I get to work with some really amazing people.
At first, there were some lonely weekends spent home. Since then I’ve met a handful of great friends whom I’ve grown to love and appreciate. And there’s so many amazing things to see and do in this city every single day that I’m still (happily) overwhelmed by the long list of things I still haven’t crossed off.
This past year has been a fucking rollercoaster, I’m not going to lie, but I wholeheartedly believe that I’m a much stronger and happier person, and I have a little more insight into what truly makes me happy. And in the end, isn’t that all that matters?
Thanks for the read – I’m not preaching over here that everyone needs to move to be happier, but it’s definitely something I’ll never regret doing! XO ^_^
